By the time kids are teens, they’ve discovered tha, no matter how many times you tell them to “empty the dishwasher like a lion” or that they will get popcorn and a movie when all their chores are done, the fact is that household jobs are just not all that fun. And, I think most of us would agree. But, the work still needs to get done and mom should not do it all.
Teens need to participate in the responsibilities at home. As parents, you should be preparing them to live on their own as adults and soon they will have to do all the dishes and all the laundry all by themselves. They need to know, not only the skills of how to do these things, but the assurance that they are capable adults who can take care of themselves, their homes, their cars and even others. Jobs in the home can help teens feel confidence and capability and gives you an opportunity for praise.
A couple of tips on how to stop fighting and start get kids to work:
1) Use a timer. Give a certain time frame to accomplish a job and a reward for doing so: “If you get the dishes done in 20 minutes, you can stay up 20 minutes longer” or watch 20 minutes more of TV, etc. If the job is not done, you will need to exact a consequence: “You were supposed to clean the bathroom in 30 minutes and you took 45 so your bedtime is 15 minutes earlier.” Stick to the consequence so that next time the child knows that the job needs to be done in a reasonable time.
2) Consider giving kids an allowance that is tied to the completion of their chores. We believed in letting our children receive an allowance for jobs which they were then responsible to use for going to the movies, buying school lunch (instead of packing one from home), buying additional clothing or accessories, etc. Kids who want to have spending money on the weekend to hang out with friends tend to do their chores during the week.
3) Have a schedule for cleaning. If I was relaxing on the couch and you kept coming up to me with one job after another, I’d be annoyed. Your teenager is, too. Set a firm list of chores that each child needs to accomplish so he can see when he is done. Set specific times for when the chores should be done. In the summer, first thing in the morning is the best, before playing with friends or video games, etc. During the school year, chores may be split into two times. For example, before school your child may be required to make his bed, put dirty clothes in the hamper and load the dishwasher with breakfast dishes. After school, he may need to fold and put away his laundry and vacuum the family room before going out with friends. Hold onto the car keys until these things are done. If you have a working teen, work with his schedule each week so that doesn’t become a problem.
Teens are quite capable of doing nearly every job in a home. They can complete all facets of laundry, clean all rooms including appliances, prepare meals, take care of yard work, babysit for younger siblings. Don’t be afraid to work with your teen to learn how to do everything that an adult has to do. You never know when your child will be teaching someone else’s child how to wash their whites!
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